Monthly Archives: November 2014

I don’t mean to complain but….

… day five sucks. I know tomorrow will be a better day – it always is, but… …day five sucks. My knees ache, my ankles are sore, I am tired.  I have no interest in doing anything.  I know that … Continue reading

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I think I can, I think I can…

The dawn began for me at 4:00 this morning.   That was no great surprise since my day ended yesterday at 7 pm!  I guess this last batch of chemo is having an accumulative impact on my hemoglobin.  Thank God … Continue reading

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Ruth

It is always a battle of mind over matter the day I head for chemo and yesterday was no exception. I worried about getting up in time to fit in a walk, a shower, remembering to take my anti-nausea pills, … Continue reading

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He said, but I heard…

It is never that I am operating at one speed for more than a day or two. Friday’s meeting with my surgeon left me feeling that there was no hope of ever being cancer-free.  He was speaking to me from … Continue reading

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Today – I am just still

The blank screen stares me in the face. What can I write? To whom shall I write? What do I feel? How do I feel? Today I feel like I am drowning.  I am surrounded by life preservers, but am … Continue reading

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What if…

What if the cancer has grown rather than shrunk? I hope I have the courage to face that news! What if the cancer is not controllable? What if the doctor tells me I have another three rounds of chemo?  I … Continue reading

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But I don’t wear makeup!

It is no secret that I don’t wear make-up.  I have never been a subscriber.  This was always much to my mother’s chagrin – she was the Russian beauty who always tried to get her Tom-boy girl down from the … Continue reading

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The Old Dog for the Hard Road, the Puppy for the Path

“The Old Dog for the Hard Road, the Puppy for the Path” was one of my Dad’s favorite expressions as I grew up.  I had no idea what it meant but whenever he said it – it was with quiet … Continue reading

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I Have my Mother’s Hands

My mother’s hands were beautiful.  At least, that’s what I thought.  She thought they were old and ugly. Mom would often show me her hands and pronounce, “I have the hands of an old woman, Stacey”. Okay, so here hands … Continue reading

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Sometimes you are the Bug, sometimes you are the Windshield

This post is dedicated to my friends and family. I have always insisted that it is easier to be the patient with cancer (the bug) than it is to be the supporter (the windshield). My job is simple – it … Continue reading

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