Tag Archives: fear

From Emotional Health to Mental Healing

“I don’t understand why we don’t consider emotional health as important as mental health!” Maggie would say to me.  “Honestly, it is just as important – if not more so.  If people were able to talk about their emotions they … Continue reading

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The Writing on The Wall

At times it seems so far away At times it seems so near The writing that is on the wall Is nothing we should fear Daytime light illuminates The words that I can see Yet never do I seem to … Continue reading

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Lost and ground(ed)

The firewall is down.  I am exposed.  Today, I meet with the doctor for my 3 – month follow up.   And I feel like I am walking on broken glass. I wonder if that’s a bad thing?  It is … Continue reading

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The Firewall

This summer, cancer walked behind me.  Today – it walks beside me.  I don’t want it to walk in front of me ever again.  And so – I put up a firewall between cancer and I.  That way, I can … Continue reading

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She hugged him

I didn’t see it coming – my meltdown. The barbecue began innocently enough.  There were neighbours, family, friends.  Everyone was gathering for the feast.  I had established my “place” beside friends, hunkered down into my seat, and was ready to … Continue reading

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Just under my skin…

Just under my skin lies a fear, a dread, that something awful is going to happen. I took a shower to relieve a sore shoulder muscle And out crawled the memory of the showers I took to relieve pain. I … Continue reading

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He held up a mirror on remission

I practically skipped into the doctor’s office yesterday.  Why wouldn’t I?  I felt great, I was getting help with my paper-work, and I am within spitting distance of my last chemo. Cindy, Dr. Kolesky’s administrative assistant, greeted me with a … Continue reading

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In the home stretch…

Ahhhh! Tomorrow is the big day! Well, at least one of six big days. I’m ready… To be kicked when I’m down. I have such mixed emotions.  I’m scared.  I really am – more than I have ever been scared … Continue reading

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Waiting for the Other Shoe…

It may just be a bit of depression. It may be because there is no sun today. It may be because I am anxious about my colonoscopy /endoscopy and any other scopy I might get tomorrow. Maybe I am running … Continue reading

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Chair 17

“Stacey, your pulse is rapid.  You will more likely have a reaction if you don’t calm down.  Would you like some Ativan?” said my oncology nurse today. “No, thanks.” I replied.  “I have cancer in my liver and I really … Continue reading

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