Tag Archives: anxiety

I need to teach

I feel like a trapped animal today.  My colleagues are back at work, back contributing to society.  Here I am.  At home.  Sipping coffee.  It seems my living conditions are quite wonderful.  I have shelter, food, space, water. Yet – … Continue reading

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Lost and ground(ed)

The firewall is down.  I am exposed.  Today, I meet with the doctor for my 3 – month follow up.   And I feel like I am walking on broken glass. I wonder if that’s a bad thing?  It is … Continue reading

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Breathe

Anxious Down the hole I go… Stop Try to get out and move forward… Slide If I let myself go I would slide… Invisible Strings that pull my head.. Pressure On my brain that seems to weigh my thoughts down … Continue reading

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The stand after the fall

Nothing like a good fitness class to clear your mind. I went to Vandie’s class today carrying the weight of my memories. At first, those memories were heavy and indeed felt like lead weights. I got mad. I fought back … Continue reading

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Don’t blink!

I woke up feeling anxious this morning.  I’m not sure why.  I looked outside for clues – but the only thing I saw were the leaves on the trees. And then I saw the leaves on the trees.  Yup.  There … Continue reading

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Through the Lens of a Chemo Haze

A haze clouds my thinking today.  Argh!  It’s frustrating! I’m agitated, frustrated. Irritable. I know it will pass. My mind is not connecting with my body today.  There seems to be a disparity between them.  I am disconnected.  I am … Continue reading

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A gift of life

Who knew that between last September and now I would have such a change of attitude with respect to cancer? It seemed like a death sentence:  Stage IV ovarian cancer.  The internet almost grieved for me as it outlined my … Continue reading

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The Beginning of the End

I am anxious to start so that it can end. As much as I want the chemo – I equally don’t want chemo. It is a necessary evil. Three more needles – three more three weeks. I think I can. … Continue reading

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Get ready! Get set!….

The height is dizzying. I am standing on the highest diving tower there is.  Or so it feels. I look down. Don’t look down! Focus! Be at peace. You’ve been through this routine already, Stacey.  You are ready. I breathe. … Continue reading

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Thank-you, Bruce Cockburn

The sun shines through my window and cascades onto the blanket, yet I don’t feel it in my heart. I can see the crispness in the air – yet I don’t feel it in my soul. Neither warmth nor cold … Continue reading

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