Days like these…

Days like these feel like someone put up a brick wall between my brain and my eyes.  I see the day.  I feel the wind.  I smell the fresh air.  I can walk outside and feel the sand on the newly laid unistone – and I can taste my eggs.  All senses are working – but nothing is getting though.

Why are there days like these?  How long will they last?  How do I get the world through that wall to make my brain come alive?

Days like these, I just want to sleep and imagine that I’ll wake up without walls.

Days like these, I just want a do-over.  I would wake up, find my emotional chisel and start chipping away.

I guess, though, that days like these make me appreciation the other days – the days when the birds sing and my heart leaps, when the rain falls and awakens my skin, when the wind blows and the air takes my breath away by the sanctity of its freshness.  The other days are days when I am alive – I am living.  Most of my days are like that.  Maybe I’ve had too many of the other days that “these days” need to be my wake up call.

I’d rather the other days – to these days.

Cuz these days just seem to drag… they are sleepy… they are melancholy… they are lost moments that can never be found.  Those moments on the other days are what dreams are made of…

These and those … Of the two I’d pick those days anytime.

But to get to those – I guess I need these.

So – these days, I guess, can’t be all that bad?

About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
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17 Responses to Days like these…

  1. Gwen says:

    We all have days like these, but it is in living through “these” days that we can truly embrace the days we certainly prefer. “These” days have us stop and count all the blessings of the other days.

    • inmycorner says:

      Yup – but damned that wall!

      • Gwen says:

        again life’s balancing act, darn fulcrum keeps moving and the balance is thrown off yet again. Don’t fret, I’m sure that you’ll find the right spot for it sooner rather than later. (Won’t be later because you’ll be asleep in bed – haha).

  2. Judy says:

    I find the wall to be interesting – it sounds like you are very tired. Sometimes, I just need to take a long nap. If I don’t, I feel blah. Afterwards, I feel like my day is beginning again. I am refreshed and ready.
    I can only imagine fatigue must be so hard for you to deal with! Your body might be demanding that you rest. I wonder.

  3. you have described those days so well. Some days we just move numbly, as though wrapped in cotton-wool

  4. Gallivanta says:

    Feeling meh is bleh! Hope a bright day is not too far away.

  5. Ah……the walled up days. I hope you broke through. Maybe the walled up days are those days put in place to slow us down and have us pay attention to those other days with a little more clarity. Just like you did here so amazingly.

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