I could have danced all night

“I could have danced all night,

I could have danced all night and still have begged for more.

I could have spread my wings and done a thousand things,

I’ve never done before.”

My Fair Lady

Oh, those lyrics.  Happy.  Joyful.  So filled with hope and promise. That’s how I feel.  I woke up this morning feeling absolutely elated.  If this is the down side of my new drugs, bring them on!  I almost feel drunk on life.  How long will it last?  I don’t know.  But I’ll stay in “this” moment at “this” time for all the time it lasts.

What a glorious morning.  What a glorious life.  My roller-coaster rides high once again.  What to do about it?  Golf?  Kayak?  Walk?  Skip?  Run?

Run – oh, I’d love to run.  I used to love running.  I was never very good, but it felt so good to be able to move with speed.  To feel exhausted at the end.  To barely able to catch my breath.

A smooth kayak across a glimmering body of water.  I love to kayak.  It’s a new sport to me and I have no idea about technique, but it is wonderful to experience the “glide”.  So little effort can take you so far.

Dance?  Oh, I danced all night.  My legs would not keep still.  If that was the only side effect of the new medication – restless legs – I’ll take it!!!!  Dancing has always been my passion.  I love, love, love to dance.  The music controls me.  It moves me.  I have no way to stop once I am hooked on a song – it completely overwhelms my body to pull me like a puppet on a string.  I jump.  I sway.  I just plain move.

One day down.  Four pills down.  Brings me to day two.  Imagine.  Day two.  I didn’t think I’d see this day last Sunday when that rash broke out.  Oh, to have come from “that” place to “here”.  From desperation and despair to joy and elation.  How can one person experience such profound change in less than one week?  It gives me hope to think it possible.  I must remember it is possible when the roller coaster takes another dive.  First day down.  And my second day has begun.

Don’t get me wrong. I still face this medication with a bit of trepidation.  I need to eventually bring the dose four times higher.. but.. for now…

It is a perfect fall morning.  The colours which bounce of the maple leaves outside my window paint a perfect picture in my bedroom.  There is no better artist than Mother Nature.  The lines, the contours, the movement of the leaves blowing in the breeze thrill me with an aesthetic bliss.  They dance on their branches in unison with each other, yet independently.  The Canada geese glide effortlessly across the pond to join the others in the great Fall Waltz.  The birds add to the symphony to contribute the trills and shrills of the soprano strings to the background bass hum of the Earth.

I hope you, the reader, can see through my eyes today.  I wish this for you.  I wish you my “Stacey-coloured” glasses.  At least, this is my wish for you right now.  I wish you my morning of day two.  And I wish we could dance.  I wish you could find me out walking the dog, playing a round of golf, kayaking across the bay – to join me for a dance.

Dance with me?

Mother Nature is playing our song.


About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
This entry was posted in acceptance, inspiration, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to I could have danced all night

  1. Judy says:

    Your wish came true! I felt like I was seeing the world in a very upbeat way after reading your post. I am so happy for you. Yay!!!

  2. Carol says:

    I am dancing right along side of you my friend. This post has truly given me something else in my life that I can be thankful for this weekend.

  3. karen markovic says:

    Awesome…..Happy Thanksgiving…

  4. Gwen says:

    One more blessing for which to be thankful this weekend. I hope this stretch of calm water lasts for quite a while. Gliding along and enjoying the view. Take this weekend and enjoy the time with family.

  5. My heart is dancing with you (thought I’m nearly ready to pass out after a busy day of dancing through ) 🙂

  6. Gallivanta says:

    Stacey coloured glasses are cool!
    And that’s one of my favourite songs. 🙂

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