High Anxiety

I ride the wave, it peaks at dawn

Shortness of breath, our swords are drawn

Will it be me?  Will it be you?

Are you my friend – is what they say true?

The hour strikes, the time has come

We test each other – it has begun

I am so thankful, there is no doubt

A test of faith with no way out

I taste, I measure, I swallow, I wait

These six big pills will seal my fate

I ride the wave the storm brought in

It is not easy and I MUST win

Not just for me, not just for you

But for us all and the next ones too

How do I feel, how do I live?

I balance carefully so that I give..

My life a chance –

My life a hope –

My self a dream –

I won’t just cope..

I want to dance and sing and fly

I want to dig and plant and try –

To do more today than simply ride

This wave of anxiety, this cancer tide

In my corner I will not stay

For I refuse to live this way –

I ride the wave, it crests and falls

But – what a ride it is!



About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
This entry was posted in Cancer Journey, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to High Anxiety

  1. Gwen says:

    WOW. Another beautifully written poem. Remember when riding the waves there will be ups and downs for sure. With steady navigation you will get through these waters, my friend.

  2. Mhefkey says:

    Lovely Stacey. Xx

  3. surf well my friend…

  4. Judy says:

    What a creative expression, Stacey – ha ha! You had me at the end there because the poem actually felt like waves, with you rhymes. Then the last line didn’t rhyme. I scratched my head – I figured it out.
    It’s because you got off the wave. You did it!
    Hope it was too horrible swallowing those big suckers.

  5. Gallivanta says:

    Are the pills to be swallowed whole? How big is big? Six little pills would stump me, let alone six big ones!

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