Here’s to the Fall!

How is it that the message that we sometimes need the most comes to us through the most unexpected ways?

I have been helping a friend’s daughter with an essay about “Life of Pi”.  I had watched the movie several years ago, but had not ever given it it’s proper dues.  I liked it, but did not really ever understand the depth that the author had offered.  Maybe it was the time of night I watched the movie, or maybe I was simply not able to review the script line by line as I could the book?  I don’t know.  I do know, however, that after having read the book and been forced to look at the themes more carefully, I have a better appreciation for my own life.

“Joy comes through suffering.”

Seriously.  To be able to experience great joy – one must first endure great suffering.  It is the appreciation of the hunger that gives such satisfaction for the food.  I don’t enjoy food unless I hunger first.  It is the “wanting” that makes me appreciate.  Otherwise, I can take things for granted and not give them a second thought.  I think that may be the “entitlement” attitude.

It has been a rough week.  I wonder if it is because the end of my chemo is near … or so I hope.  I worry that I will need more chemo should the cancer still not be gone.  I need to get into remission.  Then, I worry that the new drug I am to take to prolong remission will have multiple side-effects and I’ll not tolerate it well.  These are valid concerns.  It is tough to not spend time thinking about these things.  I find I spend too much time and effort thinking about these things – when I ought to be living.  Following my logic, however, without worry there can be no appreciation for calm.  It is the heat that makes me like the cold so much and the cold that makes me like the heat.

I forget how much pain I was in two years ago.  It was the pain that made me appreciate feeling well.  It’s just tough to endure the bad while one is going through it – to appreciate the good.

Happiness can only come after sacrifice.  This summer has been one of sacrifice for me.  Here’s to a wickedly awesome fall.

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About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
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13 Responses to Here’s to the Fall!

  1. Gwen says:

    Here’s to a wickedly awesome fall my friend.

  2. Feel for you. We also are going through a rough time right now, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel

  3. Judy says:

    I’m so sorry you had a rough week. Praying it will get easier soon. Chemo is poison and of course, it would affect your mood. Just hope you are taking care of yourself. I know you’ll have your energy boost again – it is waiting for you when this ugly part is over.
    I cannot imagine all those worries. But you know worrying won’t affect the outcome; it only drains you. Just hoping you will have an easy road. Praying for you, in fact.

    • inmycorner says:

      Oh, Judy. Thank – you. You are such a wonderful support for me. I am so very appreciative of you. Don’t know how I got so lucky. In any case – one day – all will come back to you I’m sure. Such goodness cannot be overlooked. I hope this will be easier too. It has been ugly – I do feel alone. Your posts help a lot. Please know that.

  4. What I like most is not that you want to have a ‘good’ fall but a “wickedly awesome fall”. Because isn’t that what living is about? 😉

  5. Gallivanta says:

    A wickedly awesome fall would be wonderful. I am wishing it will be so.

  6. karen markovic says:

    Hoping and wishing no more chemo after this and remission is close at hand.
    There really is something to be said for just how spectacular the fall season is. As a child I would invision God, Mother Nature, our Creator sitting in front of an easel, large paint brush in hand ready with one fell swoop to create an outstanding one of a kind masterpiece with the landscape and yes, just like magic the leaves became a bouquet of magnificent colour’s.
    One of the happiest moments were believe it or not raking all those leaves and jumping in the pile. It was this child like wonder that gave me hope for all my dreams and wishes to come true. My you find that inner child within you and return to a time when your heart sang with such joy and happiness this coming fall season. May you also enjoy delicious harvests from many a bountiful garden. My mom always said”food made with love is like medicine to the heart and soul.” I miss her garden, her cooking and her homemade desserts especially all those scrumptious pie’s, pumpkin, pecan, apple. (I think I just gained 10 pounds dreaming about her cooking and baking.)
    Stacey love and blessings to you and your loved ones this coming harvest moon…

  7. karen markovic says:

    Should say may not my…sorry about the errors, it’s been a long day…I know teachers like perfection….lol!

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