I don’t know what to do with myself today –
I usually make lists –
Lists keep me going –
I know what to do and I have plans and I can do things –
I want to do but I am stuck in this limbo of waiting…
Not sure what I’m waiting for but it seems if I wait something will happen
As my hands tingle with neuropathy.
A list, a list, a list is what I need. I twitch for a list.
To think – to do – to think – to wait
Oh, good grief.
Day five has blurred into day six
This is day 5 and 8/4…. just not sitting well with me – it is a confusing day to me
So – maybe I have to look at it differently – like a new adventure?
Peter Pan? Sailor Moon? A Pokeman explorer? That would be new for me
Attitude. I need an attitude adjustment.
Frustration. I need to shed it for a new skin
Anger. Misguided anger. My mind buzzes.
Fucking cancer. Fucking steroids. They giveth and they taketh away.
Gone. In an instant the feeling fades.
Rage to calm. Joy to depression. I spin.
Breathe. Spin. Repeat.
Better? Yes. Give me five minutes. It’ll pass. Let me capture the feeling while it is here.
Judgment. Acceptance. Oh, boy.
A new day has begun and I’ve already lived it five times over. It’s not even 10 o’clock yet. Mania? Me? I thought that was days 1 – 4?
Welcome to day 5 and 8/4ths
Compelled to do the math? I’m content to leave it in chaos
No grammar, no rules, no structure… no list today