Plum Done In


I forgot.

Like the pain of child-birth, one forgets how tired on can get two weeks into chemo.  That’s when the white blood count and red blood count is lowest.

Then it begins to recover.

So, this morning’s walk was primarily afforded to me via Kevin’s arm.  It was exhausting to walk.  I was sweating.  I was trying to catch my breath.  I knew I had to keep going – and going I did.

Funny thing that chemo.  It kills your white cells – along with the cancer cells – but it is the white cells you need to fight cancer and colds.  Exercise helps build white cells.  But it is tough to exercise when you are tired. Hmmm.  Catch 22.

I hate fatigue.  Above all else – other than feeling nauseous – I hate feeling tired.  It reminds me I am aging, that I am sick, and that I am not super-human.  I guess that’s a good thing as it is humbling.  It makes me so that I’m not cocky – thinking the battle against cancer is a cake-walk.  (Not like I’ve ever thought that way anyhow)

Today’s agenda:  bed rest?

Today’s agenda (alternate):  gardening?  (Preferred agenda)

Or maybe:  chicken soup?   I have a cold – to boot.  I think.

I wish I knew what was best.  I wish there was a definitive solution.  A magic pill?  I guess it’s faith and determination.  I don’t want to be held down by a stupid cold.

I have one week to get stronger.  One week before chemo #2.  I do NOT want to be delayed. But, if I have to, well, then so be it.  I will, in the meanwhile, live between chemo appointments.  I think those times are what are known as “the dash”.  I will live my dash – and try to live it well.

Meanwhile, this morning, maybe a little Chef Michael Smith will have to do.


About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
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20 Responses to Plum Done In

  1. Gallivanta says:

    Hope you got some chicken soup. 🙂

  2. Gwen says:

    Too bad chef MIchael Smith couldn”t just reach out of that television and make the chicken soup for ya. You’ve been on the go full tilt for the last while, I certainly think a little rest is in order.

  3. Wilma says:

    Stacey…I feel like an old boiler myself today…sciatica or some such thing…you rest have worked hard and long last week!

  4. Judy says:

    After reading about your super-human energy, I can only imagine how discouraging this is – a full 180 tilt. I hate colds and as I’ve gotten older, the process of them coming on and blooming is incredibly annoying. Hopefully, it will be a mild one and you’ll be back to having your super powers again.
    Chicken soup sounds great. Hope you feel better soon!

    • inmycorner says:

      Ha – super powers would clear me of this stupid thing. Funny how a cold is stupid and cancer is .. well.. it just has more respect. Thank you, Judy. I am working on resting – a different kind of job I suppose. Grin.

      • Judy says:

        I think the thing here is you have a cold on top of chemo, which is two lousy things. It sucks having your immune system down and must be tough. Hoping you’re feeling better soon!

      • inmycorner says:

        I’m thinking that the cold will stimulate my immune system naturally so I won’t need any Neulasta (a drug that stimulates the system – but hurts like hell). Yes. I think that’s a good thing… right? Right? grin.

  5. Your super powers are regenerating.

  6. Chicken soup is a super food.

  7. You are super. Aging only makes you more so.

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