The Chopping Block

“Have you seen it, yet?” inquired Dr. Mason.

“No.  Should I?” I responded.

“Well, it is rather interesting.  It’s about 2 cm and just below the surface of the skin.”

“Can you just cut it right out?” I asked, hoping he’d say sure!

“No.  We can’t do that.”

One needle poke later and three snip, snips later, the biopsy was complete.  It was quite painless, actually.  I was relieved. My liver biopsy had not been a cake walk.  It was deep and the freezing didn’t seem to take.  Add on the fact that it was difficult to breathe, and you have a miserable experience.   A biopsy on my lymph node was not a problem at all.

I think it was the comment about the tumor size that made me breathe a sigh of relief.  I had to shrink my other liver tumors last time to 4 cm before even considering the possibility of surgery.  This tumor – was only 2 cm.  A cake walk.  I think this today was the first time I had actually believed I was going to be okay, that the tumor would shrink to nothing.  It seemed possible.

One wonders, at this point, why one is so fortunate?  At least – to date.  I have good health other than the fact that I am diseased.  I have hope that new medication may prolong my periods of remission.  I take no medication for heart, liver, kidney, or breathing.  I don’t think the nurses quite believe me when I say to them that I have had a lot of pieces cut out of me.  I listed them off today and it seemed to draw a bit of a crowd.  Then, the comment, “you look great”.  I liked that – whether it was the truth or not – didn’t matter.  Hearing a nurse tell you how well you look makes a difference.

My friend Vandie took me today.  She too made friends with the nurses and joked around.  She told them about her trip to Gross Mountain – and how I was supposed to have gone with her.  Again – they were impressed.  Again – it felt good to impress the nurses.

I am mid-way between chemos  one and two right now.  I am enjoying every day.  I feel wonderful.  I am blessed.  I worked hard this past week and it felt good.

I am tired tonight.  Didn’t sleep well last night worrying about the biopsy.  No matter how much I try to pretend it was nothing – my body tells me otherwise.

So – I go to bed, having been there, done it, and having seen it.  Another hurdle behind me.

About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
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21 Responses to The Chopping Block

  1. Yes. another hurdle behind you. You’ve overcome so many, but I imagine each one is still exhausting, including the worry. My best to you.

  2. May you sleep well and peacefully and awake refreshed…

  3. I look forward to your days Stacey. On what you do. What you see. What you conquer. 🙂

  4. Gallivanta says:

    Hope you slept well and are feeling refreshed today. 🙂

  5. Judy says:

    Glad the biopsy wasn’t painful – you have gone through so much. Your powerful and positive attitude must be helping you sail through this. Hoping for the best outcome possible. I’m definitely “in your corner!”

  6. Gwen says:

    Hurdles are not an easy event, but so happy that you had a relatively easy stride over this one. Take a few resting steps and you’ll be able to take whatever hurdles might present themselves in the future.

  7. I am so grateful. Last month doctor said no more treatments. Prostate cancer cured.

  8. Hi my friend Judy said you may find our support group helpful. Put in the search box.

    Cancer stories (people supporting people through exsperience)

    I am Mark and would be delighted to be of some help to you in your journey.

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