It is now eight days post chemo… the first treatment.
Glorious.
Although my arm burns still where the injection site was, I can still use it to paint, turns screws, scrub walls, and carry things.
Although my knees hurt as a result of the steroids, I can still climb a ladder, walk to the park, get on them to paint trim, and stand.
Although my lymph gland is still swollen with the tumor, it appears that I am still able to fight off infection, to heal cuts and bruises, and to ride a bike.
Although I have a bit of neuropathy in my feet, I can still walk, wear shoes, keep my balance, and carry on.
Glorious.
It is hard to believe I have cancer. I just don’t feel it. I don’t know why.
I can hardly wait to get up and going this morning. There is still so much to do at the townhouse – I wrote a list at 5 this morning so I would remember everything. I am excited to begin again. I was a mad woman yesterday. I forgot to eat until my son brought me a sandwich at 2 in the afternoon.
“You need a goal”, I remember my Mom saying to me in a dream a year ago.
My goal to finish work on the townhouse by Saturday has kept my mind off cancer and on to something that is positive, productive, and physically demanding.
Glorious.
It is still too early to rattle the cages at my house in terms of getting David ready for school, and Ben ready for another day of work. I guess that’s a good thing as it allows me to reflect on the lesson I have learned about hard work and goal-setting. Who knew that setting a goal like this one would allow me to “live” again?
Gosh! Ready by Saturday! Looks like you will achieve your goal.
Fingers crossed! Maybe Sunday —
Ben and David will be fine handling getting ready on their own. What a great example you are to both of them – even more valuable doing this project. They see you aren’t depressed and your productivity is inspiring. What a beautiful time of hope during what could be hell. It happened because you allowed it to and ran with it!
I have found having to work hard takes a lot off my mind. I live with an anxiety of feeling like I’m going to die tomorrow and it paralyzes (did I spell that correct>) me. Having something to do keeps my mind on the moment, and that’s a good thing. I’m glad to hear you are continuing to fight.
And I’m glad to hear that you are able to move through your anxiety with hard work! Anxiety is TOUGH — Thanks for the comments, April!
As I read your blog I see a person with great ambition and strength– To acceive goals, to keep moving, to be motivated, organized and pace set—you are indeed an inspiration to all
Oh, my. I do try. Sometimes the wind is knocked out of my sails when I expect it the least — those are the toughest moments. It is easier to react when you know what to expect. Thank-you for you positive support, Dawna!
I have no doubt your work, your goals, and your parent’s advice will help you through this. Not to mention those in this world loving you through.
Funny – even now I am so in need of my parents’ advice, Colleen. They continue to teach me lessons every day – funny. Maybe I am just now more open to their words. Do you have that too?
Yes. Things my parents have said in the past come to hunt me down and have another go round with me. 🙂 And it’s a good thing. 🙂
Wishing you healing and praying for you. Thanks for sharing a part of your day 🙂
I appreciate that you took time to be with me on this day, Mandibelle16.