I watched the sunrise

The sun rose this morning – as it always has.

I was thinking clearly enough, though, to have brought my camera to the scene.

It wasn’t as spectacular as it has been for the last couple of days when a promise of rain was in the air – but it was spectacular all the same.  It was a sunrise I did not want to miss.  I don’t want to miss any sunrise.  It’s a thing for me.  It warms me – fills me with hope – speaks to me in soft whispers that comfort and soothe me.  This morning was no exception.

“Stacey, this is a new beginning, today”, it said to me. “Have faith.  I’ll never leave you – I’ll be here for you tomorrow if you look for me. ”

Kevin was the one who reminded me that I had forgotten to look down the tracks this morning.  It tends to rise, lately, just over the railway tracks so that the rays are caught on the rail lines themselves.  I had been busy trying to remember the names of the oncology nurses who would be tending to me today for my first of six chemo treatments.  “I’m going to have to write down their names this time”, I reminded myself.  Funny, they were so pivotal in my last recovery and yet I cannot remember any of their names.  Maybe it was the drugs!  Seriously.  I am most concerned about losing my clarity of thought more than anything else.  There are things I should remember and I don’t.

I ran back a few hundred yards to the train tracks – and there is was.  The sun.  It was just beginning to rise.  I took a few snaps and thought I needed to get going – we were on a time limit and I didn’t want to be late.  I ran back to Kevin and Jazz the dog.

I looked at the sky once again and saw the sun in full rise.  “I have to go back and catch that”, I said to Kevin.  And I ran back to the tracks again.  It was not a day when I could simply walk away from something as magnificent as that.  I took the photo.  I walked on.

Never will I ever miss a moment such as that.  Life is too short.  That sunrise is a reminder to keep my eyes open through life, to appreciate the gifts that I have been given.  I live in the moment.

I am not nervous right now as I wait for departure time.  My guts may tell me a different story, but I am mentally at peace.  I’m packed.  I’m ready for round two. Whatever is in the cards for me today is in the cards.  I have faith that this path is the right one that I need to take.  And I am not alone.  What a feeling it is to not feel alone when going through this battle once more.

“This one doesn’t scare me, Kevin”, I explained to him this morning.  It is the next round that I worry about.  If I stay in the moment – that worry disappears.

“I sent you a link about immunotherapy this morning, Stacey.  Researchers are very optimistic.”

“I just hope they hurry!” I replied.  And watching the news this morning, I’m sure that the residents of Fort McMurray who are losing everything – feel the same way.  Looking outside of my own problems helps me put things into perspective.  A reminder to keep my eyes open – to look beyond my own situation – it is not just about me.

Yes, this morning, I watched the sunrise.

I am blessed.

 

Advertisements

About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
This entry was posted in acceptance, adventure, appreciation, attitude, Cancer Journey, faith, health, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to I watched the sunrise

  1. Kristen Hill says:

    I remember back when you taught me at the Learning Centre. You taught me to believe in myself and I did. Thank you for that. I believe in you and your strength to beat this cancer. You are such a wonderful person and you left a big impact on mine and so many other students lives. You are one of a kind, that’s for sure. Thinking of you and following you on your journey.

    • inmycorner says:

      Oh, my Kristen! Wow – this is a wonderful surprise. I totally remember you too! So glad you discovered your self – worth, my dear. Such kind words help support me very much. Thank-you for taking the time to send me this wonderfully uplifting note! Glad to have you in my life again – and now it seems you are the teacher.

  2. sharechair says:

    Deep breath. Your attitude as you face round two is extraordinary. What a special person you are. Hoping that this round goes well for you (maybe not as tough as round one?). Sending positive vibes in your direction ………

  3. karen markovic says:

    Hugs..

  4. Alan Payne says:

    Big hug’s and love from all of us.

  5. Judy says:

    I also have equated hope and a new day with a sunrise. Such beautiful thoughts and I believe those positive thoughts lead to feeling uplifted. Wishing you a fantastic outcome from the chemo and hoping you get through it as best as possible. You’re in my thoughts.

    • inmycorner says:

      Oh, there is really nothing like it, eh? Been hooked up for five hours so far – and two more to go. Long day – all worth it! Thank-you for your thoughts, Judy.

      • Judy says:

        Hope you’re holding up. I cannot imagine what it must be like but your amazing attitude is powerful and will hopefully help you through.

  6. Dawna speers says:

    We are thinking about you and your family

  7. Love this – would love to see that sunrise over the railway tracks

  8. Gwen says:

    Thought of you often during the day. Wishing I could be there to help to support you (darn cough that I have – feels like allergies, but sure don’t want to bring anything to you that might be passed on to you).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s