The sun rose this morning – as it always has.
I was thinking clearly enough, though, to have brought my camera to the scene.
It wasn’t as spectacular as it has been for the last couple of days when a promise of rain was in the air – but it was spectacular all the same. It was a sunrise I did not want to miss. I don’t want to miss any sunrise. It’s a thing for me. It warms me – fills me with hope – speaks to me in soft whispers that comfort and soothe me. This morning was no exception.
“Stacey, this is a new beginning, today”, it said to me. “Have faith. I’ll never leave you – I’ll be here for you tomorrow if you look for me. ”
Kevin was the one who reminded me that I had forgotten to look down the tracks this morning. It tends to rise, lately, just over the railway tracks so that the rays are caught on the rail lines themselves. I had been busy trying to remember the names of the oncology nurses who would be tending to me today for my first of six chemo treatments. “I’m going to have to write down their names this time”, I reminded myself. Funny, they were so pivotal in my last recovery and yet I cannot remember any of their names. Maybe it was the drugs! Seriously. I am most concerned about losing my clarity of thought more than anything else. There are things I should remember and I don’t.
I ran back a few hundred yards to the train tracks – and there is was. The sun. It was just beginning to rise. I took a few snaps and thought I needed to get going – we were on a time limit and I didn’t want to be late. I ran back to Kevin and Jazz the dog.
I looked at the sky once again and saw the sun in full rise. “I have to go back and catch that”, I said to Kevin. And I ran back to the tracks again. It was not a day when I could simply walk away from something as magnificent as that. I took the photo. I walked on.
Never will I ever miss a moment such as that. Life is too short. That sunrise is a reminder to keep my eyes open through life, to appreciate the gifts that I have been given. I live in the moment.
I am not nervous right now as I wait for departure time. My guts may tell me a different story, but I am mentally at peace. I’m packed. I’m ready for round two. Whatever is in the cards for me today is in the cards. I have faith that this path is the right one that I need to take. And I am not alone. What a feeling it is to not feel alone when going through this battle once more.
“This one doesn’t scare me, Kevin”, I explained to him this morning. It is the next round that I worry about. If I stay in the moment – that worry disappears.
“I sent you a link about immunotherapy this morning, Stacey. Researchers are very optimistic.”
“I just hope they hurry!” I replied. And watching the news this morning, I’m sure that the residents of Fort McMurray who are losing everything – feel the same way. Looking outside of my own problems helps me put things into perspective. A reminder to keep my eyes open – to look beyond my own situation – it is not just about me.
Yes, this morning, I watched the sunrise.
I am blessed.