The house is full.
Every room is occupied.
I am blessed to have such a rich life. My cup runneth over.
I woke up this morning eagerly awaiting my son’s arrival home from school. Ben boarded his plane while I slept. But he sure as hell wouldn’t arrive to me sleeping. No. Never.
I’ll admit I had a few tears in my eyes when I saw him walk through that gate at Terminal 1. I’ll admit I may have run just a little bit towards him when I saw him. I’ll admit my heart leaped as high as he lifted me into the air when he gave me a hug. My boy. My Ben is home.
He arrives, this time, to begin this second journey with me. And I am going to be there for him – no more long distance phone calls worrying about what he is thinking or how he is reacting. We are going to be together – as a family – as it should be. There will be fighting, no doubt, I’m not a dreamer. There will be growing pains as the family jockeys for the pecking order. Once we have settled, however, there will be a routine. There will be something familiar and comforting. Sunday dinners will be full of conversation, chiding, and laughter.
Of course, we will need to review a few ground rules. There is always the issue of the shoes. Ben doesn’t have big feet, he has BIG SHOES for his big feet. The spot for them is normally by the front door – they usually end up in the middle of the front entrance somewhere. Then, there is the issue of the rough -housing with David. I have never understood how it can be fun to wrestle each other to the ground. Honestly. But each year, David gets slightly bigger and stronger. Ben hopes David will never out-grow him, but David has a different wish. At least there will not be any issues with the car. Katya bought her own. Problem solved for her. Now, it’s just Ben and I who need to negotiate the van.
These are just a few of the complexities of our family. Throw Grandma and Rita into the mix and it makes for a full house. This is where I want to be. This is the life I have always dreamed of. A full house is the remedy for all that ails you. It is my elixir of life. There is too much going on every day to be distracted by stupid things like cancer. “Family” takes precedence over cancer. Family wins out. Family will always win.
There are so many things I look forward to doing this summer and so many people I’d like to bring together. The arrival of Ben is like the ringing of the bell that summer is upon us. It is bike season, kayak season, walking. I want to BBQ outdoors and sit for long chats in the gazebo (which I don’t have YET). I look forward to the sun, the thunderstorms, and the sparkling waters of Kempenfelt Bay. Painting the house, fixing the kitchen, tending to my garden. Fresh food, summer flavours, beautiful flowers. Friends, family, associates. There is far too many good things coming to be concerned about cancer.
It is there.
But it is quiet.
Until I give it a voice.
And summer is too noisy for that. The house is too full for that. My cup, indeed, runneth over in anticipation for the joys that summer brings.