Wait for it…

Just wait.

Two days more.

Nothing changes other than my awareness.

Yet.

I worry. I wait. I worry.

What if?

Don’t say it!

Just wait.  Have faith.  Move forward.  Keep busy.

“Tell your doctor.”  “Don’t forget.”  They say.

That pain – it is familiar to me.

Should I worry?  Why worry?  It won’t help.  Yet, I worry.

Tell the kids?  Don’t tell the kids?  What to do.

Two more days.

Get some rest.  Restless night last night. I’m tired.

Nothing changes.

It is – what it is.

Nine months… a year longer than I had expected to live.

Surgery – again?  Chemo – again?  No hair – again?

Do I have another year?

Just wait – wait for it…

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About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
This entry was posted in cancer, Cancer Journey, personal diary. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Wait for it…

  1. Oh, do I know! My appointment’s Feb 23rd. It was to be in April, but the Cancer clinic didn’t like the numbers they say in the results of my Jan 5th blood test, so bumped it up. Now — will my white count be down again, or up, or… Sometimes it’s so hard to “wait and see”!

    • inmycorner says:

      Oh, dear. You do know. Christine – I wish we could just “deal with it”. That would be easy. I sometimes think the wait is a way that we can ease into the news – and other times it is a torture. I will be thinking of you on the 23rd!

  2. We’re in your corner. Know what it’s like when the blood count goes wobbly. Rod has CLL and his count hiccuped last time. Now he’s having more frequent blood tests…

  3. April says:

    Thinking of you and sending you the best wishes for a great outcome!

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