“I just wanted to tell you in person, Stacey”, Adam said to me as he left to return to his home in Quebec.  “You changed my life.  Thank-you.”

Little did he know that those words would continue to resonate with me for many, many days later.  What does one do with that information?  How could I possibly process that?  The words swirled around and were judged, measured, stretched, dismissed, and finally entertained.  What if I had made a difference in Adam’s life?  What would that mean?  Is my life over?  Is my work here done?

My Dad struggled with the question of purpose until a couple of weeks before he died – when he announced to me one day, rather out of the blue, “Stacey, I know why I am here.”

“Really, Dad?  That’s great!” I replied.  “So, what is your purpose?”

“To make people happy.”

That stunned me – on two fronts.  It was such a simple purpose – that was one stun.  And – that it was such a simple purpose – that was the next.  It was elegant in its simplicity – and sophisticated in its meaning.  Imagine if everyone had that same purpose – what would the world look like then?

Had I made Adam happy?  Could it have been that simple?  I know I inspired him to continue his education to university – where he chose to study law.  I know that he and I connected so well as he and I shared a passion for geography and the environment.  I know that I encouraged him to see how capable he was/ is in terms of learning.  Does this lead to one’s happiness?  I’d like to think so.

To have a purpose is to live.  If there is no purpose, life becomes meaningless.  Mom loved to cook and to “nurse”.  She nursed Dad until the day she died.  She had purpose.  She did not give up.  In spite of her aches and pains, she carried on.  It was almost difficult to walk – she had such a hard time even walking.  But she persisted.  And so did Dad.  They would strong people – they had purpose.

And in Adam’s eyes, so do I.  For this – I am so very thankful.   Those words, “You made a difference”, made a difference in my life.

About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
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8 Responses to Purpose

  1. Maureen says:

    and sometimes our purposes get divided and sidetracked. Your Dad was right.

  2. What a gift Adam gave you.

  3. Gallivanta says:

    Isn’t that wonderful! And wonderful he told you because often times we don’t say anything, and that is such a shame for both parties.

  4. Dawna says:

    You gave Adam a purpose and within your writing you have given others hope, motivation and strength. I believe that we are all here for a purpose—- to touch others lives— and this you continue to do.

  5. beth says:

    Dear Stacey, I am Adam’s mother and I wanted to extend my deepest gratitude to you for the inspiration you instilled in my son to further his education. I am so proud of the man he has become. The world is a better place because of you Stacey- someone who can influence and guide another to improve their life. thank you!

    • inmycorner says:

      Oh, my, Beth! What a pleasure it is to meet you. I assure you that your son would have done quite well without my influence – I was just the right person at the right time as he was for me! It has been my pleasure – Adam has make a huge impact on me as well. You did well, “Mom”! He is amazing. You are too kind, really. But I certainly do feel grateful that you took the time to write me. I cannot wait to see what great things are in store for Adam and his wee family – and you. Thanks again for those very kind words.

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