The mind is willing but the body is unable.
How many times did I hear my Dad use this very quote? Did I ever pay attention? No. It wouldn’t have done any good anyhow – what could I do to help – other than sympathize?
Now, I can empathize.
Who would have thought that two small antibiotics would have had such a long-lasting effect on my tendons? Now, going on a month ago, I took that antibiotic to relieve a sore throat. The throat has still not fully recovered, but at least I didn’t develop pneumonia.
There is this precarious balance I find I have to be more aware of these days. Every medicine I take has this “cost – benefit” ratio that must be considered. I think the chemo tipped the balance a bit more than what I have been used to in the past when my body was “able” and less toxic.
Still, I am alive to tell the tale. And for this I am so very grateful.
New reports indicate that the five year survival rate for people with “my” cancer is 20%. I think I understand why. If the chemo doesn’t get you – something else may. And so I will keep my eyes wide open to avoid those pit-falls from now on.
I didn’t go for my walk with Kevin this morning – my Achilles tendons are just too sore. It was a rough night between muscle pain in my calves, my knees, and my hips. Heat seems to help – until I get a hot flash! I pushed through the walk yesterday and I wonder if I am now paying the price for that. Will I now have to just pay more attention when the body is unable? Are the days of pushing through over?
Hard to know.
But – where the body may be unable – I am grateful that the mind is still willing.