The mind is willing…

The mind is willing but the body is unable.

How many times did I hear my Dad use this very quote?  Did I ever pay attention? No.  It wouldn’t have done any good anyhow – what could I do to help – other than sympathize?

Now, I can empathize.

Who would have thought that two small antibiotics would have had such a long-lasting effect on my tendons?  Now, going on a month ago, I took that antibiotic to relieve a sore throat.  The throat has still not fully recovered, but at least I didn’t develop pneumonia.

There is this precarious balance I find I have to be more aware of these days.  Every medicine I take has this “cost – benefit” ratio that must be considered.  I think the chemo tipped the balance a bit more than what I have been used to in the past when my body was “able” and less toxic.

Still, I am alive to tell the tale.  And for this I am so very grateful.

New reports indicate that the five year survival rate for people with “my” cancer is 20%.  I think I understand why.  If the chemo doesn’t get you – something else may.  And so I will keep my eyes wide open to avoid those pit-falls from now on.

I didn’t go for my walk with Kevin this morning – my Achilles tendons are just too sore.  It was a rough night between muscle pain in my calves, my knees, and my hips.  Heat seems to help – until I get a hot flash!  I pushed through the walk yesterday and I wonder if I am now paying the price for that.  Will I now have to just pay more attention when the body is unable?  Are the days of pushing through over?

Hard to know.

But – where the body may be unable – I am grateful that the mind is still willing.

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About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
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7 Responses to The mind is willing…

  1. Dawna says:

    As you say Stacey—listen to your body, it will tell you when you are ready to move forward.

  2. Gwen says:

    Exactly what Dawna says. Listen to your body.

  3. kiwiskan says:

    I sure hope that your body gets more willing. Love to you…

  4. Gallivanta says:

    Yes, at least your mind is willing. My mind and body are lounging in sloth, although my mind did get excited today over online jigsaw puzzles. 😀 How is your lovely Katya getting on?

  5. I’m glad you are ‘trying’ out your existence. If you don’t try and then adjust from what you learn, you wouldn’t be happy Stacey. I’ll keep cheering from here!!! Inspirational. You are.

    • inmycorner says:

      Colleen – believe it or not I can hear you cheering all the way from there and it DOES make a difference. I don’t say thank-you nearly enough for all the support you give me – loyal to the tee. How lucky I am to have a friend like you.

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