Shuffle along!

Oh, what good things a good night’s sleep can do!

Last night – I put my mother’s heating pad around my aching legs.  Truthfully, I’m not sure if it was the heating pad or my mother’s healing hand that helped, but I did feel better.  I barely remember falling asleep.  As my cousin would say, “I think I slept with Peter Mansbridge last night.”  grin.

This morning I saw the sunrise from my bedroom window.  There was only a hint of colour emerging through the clouds and so I knew I hadn’t slept in too late.  Just then, as he does every morning, my Kevin walked in with a steaming hot cup of coffee and a morning kiss.  How can a morning get any better than that?

I sat up, swung my feet to the ground and tested to see if my ankles were road-worthy.  No pain.  I took a sip of my coffee.  My new liquid courage.  I stood up.  “So far, so good,” I said out-loud to encourage  myself.  I took another sip.  Paused.  One more sip before my first step forward.  The first step would tell all.  One, two, three – and … well… “You can’t expect full recovery overnight, Stacey”, I reminded myself.  My Achilles tendon was resisting this morning feat – or should I say feet?  My leg moved and my tendon remained firm that it was not pleased to be active quite yet.  So – I hobbled along to the bathroom, ignoring its protests, but still being kind.  The warning about the side-effect of the antibiotic read, “ripped tendon” and that – I did not want.

It is amazing how one can move without that tendon if one pretends to be 100 years old and doing the 100-year old shuffle.  Although, I must confess, I have seen 100 year olds move more  quickly!

Having successfully navigated to my closet (two steps away), I dressed warmly for our morning walk.

Shuffle, shuffle down the hall.  Hobble, hobble to the steps.  I took two feet for every step as those stairs were just simply challenging.  But, I did it!

Out the door Kevin and I and the dog went.

Shuffle, shuffle – hobble, hobble.  (That was me)  The dog leaped and ran.  Kevin studied me to see if he would have to carry me – and I continued.

Eventually the shuffle turned to a full-out walk.  Nothing ripped, nothing broke.

“Are you feeling better than you did three weeks ago?” inquired Kevin hoping my answer would be affirmative.  “After-all”, he continued, “you don’t seem to be as depressed, you can eat, and you seem to have more energy.”

I would say, “yes”, as it seemed that’s what Kevin needed to hear, but I had to actually remember how I was three weeks ago.  I thought I was fine.  I didn’t remember being bad.  In fact, the whole cancer journey, this morning, was a bit of a blur.  Funny how the mind works in that pain and trauma can lose its grip over time.  If someone were to ask me what it was like a couple months ago, the only thing I would remember is the emotion of the people who were around me.  Emotional responses seem to stick.

“I am feeling, better, Kevin”, I responded finally.  “But I think my last challenge was a reminder that it is not time yet for me to be in crowds.  I don’t want any more complications to my health.  Not yet.”

And we carried on with our morning shuffle.

The sun is up as I write this post.  There is a gentle breeze blowing in my room and promise in the air.  I heard from my daughter, Katya, that in spite of some complications, she and her friend are geared up and ready to explore Portugal today.   I hope the same warm sun is shining on her as it is me so that she too may take her challenges “in stride”!

For now – I will continue to shuffle along.

About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
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7 Responses to Shuffle along!

  1. kiwiskan says:

    Yes, stay away from infection… Glad your walk went well

  2. Gallivanta says:

    Not quite the shuffle you were doing, but here’s an oldie about shuffling .

  3. 😀 A good old shuffle!!! Better than a day on your hind end!!!!

  4. RoSy says:

    I say your mom (& dad) are definitely with you on all of this.

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