Turns out

I am struggling to find a balance that will afford me good health – or at least the best health I can have.  There is no doubt in my mind that chemo-therapy was worth every penny of pain it produced or will produce in the future.  I have joint pain, restless legs, and fatigue and will likely develop other problems as I age.  But – I am alive!  I am alive.  And that is worth it.

What I don’t know how to balance yet is how to treat a common cold or sore throat.  I was prescribed a medication while in chemo that was to help me immediately – should I develop a fever.  Not wanting to go to a clinic – and knowing it is tough to get in to see my doctor right away – I took the medication.   It turns out the medication I took to treat my sore throat has side-effects that are worse than the sore throat – in my opinion.

Just a warning for those of you in my shoes (post-chemo, not wanting to see a doctor until absolutely necessary and enough knowledge about anatomy to be dangerous) that levofloxacin has side-effects:  “Levofloxacin is associated with an increased risk of tendon problems. These include pain, swelling, inflammation, and possible breakage of tendons. The risk of tendon problems is greater in patients who are older than 60 years old, patients who take corticosteroids (eg, prednisone), and in those who have received kidney, heart, or lung transplants. The Achilles tendon in the back of the foot/ankle is most often affected. However, problems may also occur in other tendons (eg, in the shoulder, arm, or hand). Problems may occur while you take levofloxacin or up to several months after you stop taking it.”

So – this morning I could barely walk because of the pain in my ankles (Achilles tendon to be exact).  Also, my shoulders, arms, and hands.

It is at times like this when I think – “how could I be so unconscious when it comes to consuming medication?”  I have never been one to simply pop a pill.  Even during chemo – I opted to endure the side-effects rather than medicate them.  Why now?

Turns out – I think I need to find a better solution next time.

Turns out – I need to remember to think before I leap.  That includes all medications.

Turns out – I now am three steps back from recovery.   sigh.

I long for my energy – I long for my health.  Oh, how I wish, wish, wish that I could have a good day so that I could enjoy the garden, walking, and even throwing a base-ball with my son, David.

It looks like I am being tested for my patience once again.  I know I will be okay.  I have to be – no matter what becomes of this situation.  If this is the new reality then so be it.  It is the waiting to find out part that is difficult.  It is the change in health and the challenges in health that have me stumped

Turns out – I am not as patient as I thought I was.

Turns out – I am stronger than I thought I was.

Turns out – I, like everyone else in this world – have challenges to face.  And that includes reading medicine labels!

Turns out – maintaining a positive attitude is difficult to do some days.  But – on days like this a positive attitude is what will help me get through life as an active participant.  And for that, I am grateful.

About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
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8 Responses to Turns out

  1. Gallivanta says:

    Oh dear, please don’t do that again. 😦 But, yes, it’s tricky when it’s all new territory.

  2. What an excellent, thoughtful, thought-provoking post. And such good reflections.
    Yes, to be alive is a glorious thing.

    • inmycorner says:

      Cynthia, thank-you. I want to be honest when I write – just in case someone else is reading! grin. Perhaps someone- in addition to me- can learn from my mistakes. Who knows. And ultimately – I forget the lessons I learn and the experiences unless they are recorded. Reflecting is my yoga for the mind.

  3. kiwiskan says:

    so often the cure is worse than the problem…

  4. Lynn Bugden says:

    I have had good luck with taking natural Ginger capsules for my Restless Leg Syndrome. Drinking ginger ale might also help when you are having an attack, if you are not able to take the capsules.

    • inmycorner says:

      Will def. keep that in mind. Seems like things may be clearing up – but it may be an up and down thing! I’ll stock up with ginger just to be sure. Are you still out of country?

  5. RoSy says:

    One day at a time dear Stacey…You got this!

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