I have nothing to complain about

I am waiting for my “friends” to send me on my way to the next level.


“I can’t believe anyone plays that game anymore, Mom”,  stated my son to me yesterday.  Judging by the tone of voice, I took it that he felt I was “out of style” by playing Candy Crush on Facebook.

“Well – it keeps my mind busy, Ben”, I explained while trying to “clear all the jelly” before running out of moves.

And truthfully – it takes over my mind at night when I try to sleep.  That stupid level!  I just couldn’t beat it.  The longer it takes for me to beat a level, the more determined I get. Truthfully – again – it is a bit of an obsession with me.  It keeps my mind occupied.  When I was in the middle of my battle with cancer, it was a good distraction.  It was mindless, but thoughtful – if you wanted it to be.  It was and remains one of the only forms of entertainment that is free.  And, finally, it offers a bit of a challenge.  I love seeing the smashing candy dispersed virtually everywhere across the screen.   It is a bit addicting.

I must confess, it is better to dream about smashing candy than people living in the middle of a war zone.  Images on the news are not comforting:  the town of Aleppo, now a ghost -town after having been the target of bombing for so long,  government officials developing strategies to “turn-away” refugees who flee poverty and corruption, and ignorant men jeering lewdly at female reporters.  It is just down-right depressing to be informed.   That’s not to say that I will turn to candy as a distraction from reality forever.  But – one battle at a time for me for now.  And today’s battle with cancer is enough for now.

On the other hand, knowing about what is happening in the world does offer me a healthy perspective.  My situation is not nearly as bad as what other innocents have to contend with.  How can I complain?  I have a house – with heat.  I have food – that I can keep in reserve.  I have a family – who offer love and support.  I have a country – which is at peace.  I am not fleeing for my life.  I am not in pain. I am not forced into silence for fear of persecution.  Yes.  Perspective is good.

How odd, that simply by geography, I have the choice to switch the channel from watching individuals flee buildings swaying from intense earthquakes and turn my glance to crushing candy.  It is just so odd.  I grapple with this discontinuity, this oddly-paired reality, this freedom to turn a blind eye.

Still, here I am… waiting for my friends to “help me on my journey to the next level” while I ponder life and all of it’s twists, conundrums, and challenges.  Indeed, I have nothing to complain about.

About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
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6 Responses to I have nothing to complain about

  1. Wilma says:

    You should try Panda Pop .. save those babies!!

  2. Gwen K says:

    Did I send you a life? I too can get caught up in the same crush. Just when I think I can’t possible beat the level, that it just isn’t possible – I get it. Haha.

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