And so am I

Haze Days

This is my favorite time of the year.  It only lasts for a few days and then it is gone for another full year.  If you blinked, it would be over.  My cousin, Jan, referred to it as the “Haze Days”, so named by her late husband, Harry.

Haze Days refers to the time when the new growth of leaves on the trees cast a green haze cast over the forest.  Everything is blurred into a light shade of green, the colour of hope, rejuvenation and promise.   It is accompanied by the continual chatter of the birds and the ever-present hum of the spring – peepers.  The reeds in the pond shoot up new life up through the dead and dried bull-rushes of last year. Nature is waking up from its winter slumber.  And so am I.

My chemo haze is lifting.  I am filled with promise and hope.  The last fews strands of hair have fallen, clearing the way for new growth.  It won’t be long, hopefully, until there is that familiar white-haze on my head that makes me look rather like a fuzzy duckling.  It won’t be long, hopefully, until my energy comes back and I can get back into my garden, read a book, or go for a long walk along the water’s edge.  I will throw a baseball with David and watch a late-night movie with Ben.  I will dance with Katya and play golf with Kevin.  To think clearly again.  Oh, what a treat.  To be able to complete a task without falter.  Oh, what a treat.  To plan for the future and to be present in the moment.  Oh – what joy!

Haze Days:  days of hope.

Soon, the sun will clear the haze to make way for summer.  How I look forward to this gift. The Canada Geese will lead their goslings, the roses will bud and bloom, and the summer heat will slow the pace to a pleasant meander.

Today is a gift that I must open slowly and savor every last second.  It won’t last long.  If I turn away in a moment of distraction, I will miss something.  Something may grow, something may bloom, something may move.  It is exciting to see life unfold before me.  I want to see everything and to share it with my family and friends.

The world is waking up.

And so am I.

About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
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12 Responses to And so am I

  1. Gallivanta says:

    What a perfect name for that time of year.

  2. Dawna says:

    Beautifully put Stacey—I also enjoy this time of the year when all rise to the sun. Your turn will come— when the haze lifts to bring you the glory of a new beginning.

  3. Gwen K. says:

    My favourite time of the year (even though I need to take allergy meds). LOVE all the different shades of green.

  4. I love the title of the post….and the haze days name. You are waking up. I’m excited for you and all of your new beginnings and continuations Stacey! 🙂

  5. RoSy says:

    “Haze Days: days of hope.” – says it all.

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