Tomorrow it is!

“You are low on your neutrophils, Stacey.”  Candy, my nurse, advised me today during my visit to determine how “fit” I was for chemo.

My heart sunk to my feet.  That would mean a delay.  That would mean my “new beginning” would also be delayed!  I would have to put off my healing.  I would have to delay life without chemo.  I was devastated.  I was also determined to not give up my quest for treatment yet.  I would keep trying.  I wanted to ring that bell that marked the end of treatment!  I had dreamed of ringing that bell for months!  I knew the delay may only have been one or two weeks – but … well.. I really wanted to be done.

“By how much, Candy?”

“Not much, but it is below the cut-off.  I don’t know the doctor well enough to predict what he will do to either go ahead or not.  The good news is your CA is now at 13. You began at over 500!  We worry about anyone whose CA is above 35.  That is fantastic!”

And that was good news!  Month by month I had noted that that cancer marker was dropping – and now it was so very good.  Still, I wanted the chemo to be over.  So – I returned to it once more to plead my case.

“But it’s my last chemo!” I cried out in desperation.  “I promise I will be good and stay away from people and germs and crowds and things!  I promise I will take that Neulasta and eat lots of onions and greens and…”  I rambled.  “Please, please, please, let me take my last chemo!”

“It’s up to the doctor, Stacey.  But you look great!  You look fantastic!  Do you have any issues like numbness or tingling?”

“No – none!  I’ve been so very lucky!  I have not been nauseous either.”

Candy asked, “Have you been tired?”

“Well, yes.  But it’s not bad.  And I rest when I need to.”

Candy continued, “Have you had any swelling in your ankles?”

“None.”

Candy continued again, “How is your appetite?”

“Great! And I’ve been cooking all kinds of healthy foods.”

“Well, you sound good, Stacey.  I’ll get the doctor and see what he says. He may say yes, but then again, he may say no.”

And off she went.  I held my breath.

Finally the doctor arrived, reviewed the same questions, listened to my heart and to my lungs.  “Well, you look good.  You are not dehydrated.  You are good to take Neulasta?”

“YES!  If it means I can have chemo!”  I exclaimed.

“Okay – I will register you for your chemo tomorrow as it is your last.”

Hallelujah!  I’m not sure how ironic it was that I rejoiced at the thought of being poisoned one more time – but there I was counting my blessings one more time.  It was – at that moment – not poison, but the elixir of life.

And so – it is to be – that tomorrow I WILL ring that bell!

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About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
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18 Responses to Tomorrow it is!

  1. congratulations 🙂 wishing you a wonderful recovery

  2. Janine says:

    Praise God for His faithfulness. YES. Tomorrow is the day. Xoxo

  3. Gwen K says:

    So happy that your almost no became a go ahead for the final treatment. We are all so happy here to hear tomorrow is the start of a new journey for you and the whole family. Wish we could be there with you, but since you promised to stay away from germs, our colds mean we need to keep our distance. Love to the whole LePage gang and looking forward to a video post of the bell ringing tomorrow!

  4. Pam Fitzsimmons says:

    Ring it loud! 🎉🎉🎉

  5. OH.MY.HEAVENS. I know some angels getting ready to do a little jig at the sound of the music of that bell!!!!!! 🙂

  6. Nicole Dube says:

    So happy for you Stacey that you are getting it over with tomorrow. And yes, I agree with a previous post, God is faithful. He gets all the glory 🙂 I will be praying for you.

  7. Alan says:

    I bet I will be able to hear the bell from here.

  8. Dawna says:

    Fabulous news Stacy—-your day has come to RING THAT BELL

  9. Leah says:

    Not rejoicing about being poisoned one more time, but rejoicing that it would be the last! You can go on with your life “treatment dreading” free! Or just treatment free for that matter! Finally! Good for you, good for you! Have you let out that breath? 😉

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