Silver Threads

Tiny bits of tinsel tumble to the ground

I look at myself in horror and realize what I’ve found

Bits of silver and bits of grey that made my healing clear

Have taken leave of my head and headed out in fear

Two more to go – two more to go

Tiny bits of tinsel tumble from my head

I wish it not to abandon ship but stay in place instead

My wig stands by upon the shelf in hope of active duty

To make me queen of the day – perhaps a wigged beauty

Two more to go – two more to go

Tiny bits of tinsel linger where I sleep

I dream at night and hope all day – my hair that I could keep

Alas it does not seem to be in the cards this day

Instead, my hair, once more it seems will soon be gone away

But

Only

Two more to go – two more to go

Then

Again

The silver threads I may keep!

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About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
This entry was posted in beauty, cancer, journey, non-fiction, Personal, Poetry, Story and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Silver Threads

  1. Ah, yes. How well I remember! My hair “rained out”; it was only two weeks from the first ones falling until only a few strands were left. And those few stayed with me all through treatments. πŸ™‚

    • inmycorner says:

      Yeah – I stopped chemo long enough for surgery so that it grew back — and now this is the second shedding. I was hoping maybe there would not be any “shock’ this time and I’d keep my hair. Oh, well. Funny how some strands stay, eh? Mine always break off sort though – so brittle.

    • inmycorner says:

      Christine – may I ask why you think your white count is low? How do you know?

      • My white count isn’t low — it’s very high. That’s what CLL does. It should be in the 7 to 9 (whatevers) range and it’s up to 112 now. In 2013 it hovered in the 50s all year and started going up last spring. I have CBC blood tests every few months.
        My hematologist told me he’s see numbers up to 700-800, so 112 is proportionately not so bad. Eventually the body produces white cells (lymphocytes in particular) to the exclusion of red cells and platelets, so a person gets anemic & blood doesn’t clot. But the white cells being “deformed” can’t fight infection as they should.

      • inmycorner says:

        Ah – thank-you for that. Funny how a person becomes such an expert in the field having had such personal experience with an illness, eh? Who knew we’d be talking about red and white blood cell count (lymphocytes and all). I wish you could “give” me some of those extra WBCs! Geez – is there chemo once the numbers are so skewed? (thank-you for answering my questions. I hope it doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable)

      • I don’t feel uncomfortable discussing these things. Hey, I’ve been absorbing all this info for some time now that I’ve become a fountain and will gladly impart some to anyone who will listen. πŸ™‚

  2. Stacey, I don’t like that your hair is falling out. But once again I was pulled in by your writing. I hoped it wouldn’t happen again. “Tiny bits of tinsel”. Very descriptive.

    • inmycorner says:

      Yeah – it sucks – quite frankly. Didn’t think second time would be so bad – but it is! Anyhow – have to remain focused on the end… right? Thank-you for your kind support, Colleen. Funny how a poem just comes easier these days.

  3. Gallivanta says:

    Your hair seemed to come back so beautifully the first time. Let’s hope it is even more beautiful when it returns next.

  4. Leah says:

    How do you feel about the wig Aunt Stacey? I saw a couple photos when you first got it but I’m wondering if you are more comfortable now without it? Or will it be on again now that “tinsel has fallen” once more?

    • inmycorner says:

      Yes. Now that the tinsel is out – there is not as much drama. I have been wearing my wig a lot – more than not. Seems the second hair-loss is harder on me. I am more self-conscious for some reason.

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