Get ready! Get set!….

The height is dizzying.

I am standing on the highest diving tower there is.  Or so it feels.

I look down.

Don’t look down!

Focus!

Be at peace.

You’ve been through this routine already, Stacey.  You are ready.

I breathe.  I feel my heart race.

My heart pounds in my chest and my ears.

Did I train enough?  Did I eat well enough?  Am I mentally ready?

I will never be the same after this.

This is a first – but others have gone before me.

I trust the engineers that designed the pool, the ladder, the diving board…

I trust the Engineer that designed the engineer, my body, the judges, the medics that sit on the side-lines and wait.  I have faith.  I must.

I feel my family – there – with me.  Those who are of this earth and those who have already departed.  Everyone is there… waiting.

It is not yet time – I wait.  We wait.  I prepare.  We prepare.

We prepare for this jump.  Breathe in.  Hold our breathe.  Exhale.  Again.  Prepare.

Once in the air – there is no going back.  Onward.

Be at peace.

Breathe.

Be ready! Get ready!  Get set! ……

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About inmycorner

This blog began as an opportunity to tell my Dad's stories. I sat with him and the computer and together we told stories. It was a wonderful way to get to know Dad. He was 9. He and Mom had a wonderful life together and since she passed away a year and a half before him - Dad was ready to join her. I no longer tell his stories but have found stories of my own. The impetus to resume this blog was the discovery that I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Since blogging had been so therapeutic for my dad and I to get through our grief, I felt maybe this would be a good outlet to process my situation. I also hoped it may serve as an outreach to anyone else who is facing this very ominous journey. So far, so good.
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17 Responses to Get ready! Get set!….

  1. Breathe in. Breathe out. Praying here. Amazing, the faith that does not ‘bind’ us, but creates us and unites us and sustains us. Thinking of you and your entire family. Your incredibly beautiful family of supporters Stacey. ♡

    • inmycorner says:

      I see you praying every day – every time I open the fridge (which may not be the right place for your masterpiece… but it works for now until I get it framed). I hear you – I see you – I can feel your support! Thank-you.

      • I am still so honored to be hanging any where! 🙂 Praying! Gosh. Tomorrow…..all the waiting…..all the rushing through this waiting….. prayers prayers prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you have a favorite song you find yourself singing a lot, by any chance?

      • inmycorner says:

        Unfortunately the things that tend to stick in my head through the day are stupid jingles! Can you believe it? Lately though – that new song “Uptown something…” by … hmmm.. forget his name I have found catchy – no memory for the new artists. Tomorrow is my “fast” day – before surgery. Enjoyed my last bran muffin until next week… grin.. still taking care of business – you know what I mean!

      • I do indeed! Pooh Bear stuff again! 😉 Well how about a nice little tune like….

        Because it is such a lovely world. And you help make it so. And this tune is such a lovely sound and thought and full of love. Pleasant dreams Stacey. Sleep full of happy thoughts. I’ll be thinking of you all day tomorrow. And watching for the angels to be flitting about. And know they will be flitting about your Kevin and children. And God’s guiding hand will be strong upon your surgeon’s touch. TTFN. Until you are able to return to your blog. I’ll be waiting until someone can let me know. But I’ll know…..and wait patiently. ❤

      • inmycorner says:

        My dear Colleen – Kevin and I played that song at our wedding! How fitting that you would find that and attach it now. Thank-you. And thank-you for summoning the “TTFN” – a very powerful and memorable call! Blessings – will be in touch!

      • 🙂 Well by golly, how perfect was this then???? 😀

        Blessings indeed, any I earn today I send to you and yours Stacey. Be well this day !!!

  2. Tom Graves says:

    Loved this line in your post – “I trust the Engineer that designed the engineer, my body…” That is absolutely the correct place to put your trust, In God, the Lord Jesus Christ, because He is the Creator, Designer and Engineer and He knows exactly what you need at this point in your journey.

    Jesus, You said in John 14:13: “And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.” We ask now for wisdom and understanding for Stacey’s Doctors and Nurses, to know exactly what to do Wednesday and to do exactly what needs to be done. We curse the cancer in Stacey’s body, all cancer cells, the roots and the seeds of this cancer and command them to shrivel and die in the Mighty Name of Jesus. We speak to Stacey’s immune system to function strongly against all cancer cells in her body and we speak healing and restoration to any body parts damaged by this cancer. We speak to her bone marrow to produce healthy blood cells to aid in the renewal and restoration of her body and her health. All in the Mighty Name of Jesus of Nazareth!
    Blessings, Tom

    • inmycorner says:

      Tom – that was beautiful – and very uplifting. I am so very appreciative of this prayer and do believe that there is power in it for sure. You are so kind to put so much thought and effort into me – someone you have never really met. And it seems you know me so well. Blessings back to you – will be in touch to let you know how things go! Stacey

  3. kiwiskan says:

    Your writing gift is amazing – you just carry us along with you. We’ll be praying for you.

    • inmycorner says:

      Kiwiskan – again, I’m flattered and honoured by your feed-back. Sometimes, the words come easily and sometimes I really struggle. For some reason I have been able to articulate my journey fairly easily – wonder what will happen when it “ends” – when I am healed…. will see I guess. Anyhow – I appreciate most of all those prayers! Thank-you!

  4. Dawna says:

    Our prayers and thoughts are with you and your family Stacey

  5. pepe says:

    Prayers for you and your family Stacey..Sending you lots of love and blessings 🙂

    • inmycorner says:

      Thank-you, once again and always, Pepe! (new name?) You are wonderful and it has been so supportive to have you along on this journey!

      • pepe says:

        My pleasure always 🙂 i am glad that i am able to be with you along this journey, i know you will come out strong. i just removed my surname, so now only Pepe..he he !!

  6. Gallivanta says:

    Seems to me you are ready!

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